Upon the night

Upon the night 

the sounds of terror

the squeak of small animals being snuffed out.

green, the color of blue seen 

through the veil.

Tricycles

3 wheeled transports of death

blades whirring

cards flicking round and round

screams

as blades of grass 

are devoured and cast aside.

skulls ride shotgun around the 

neck.

gravity

reversed

upon the night.

bling bike

Whoa! that's a lotta bling 

on a little pink bike.

Look at the tats

see the big round glasses.

Kid's got a honk horn ready to blow

crystal handlebars to steer her to and fro

Click click clack the spokes go round

diamond studded cards making their sound

bling to catch your eye

bling that says

you can look 

but if you try to touch 

I'll gut you

little pink bike

with one tiny wheel in the front

giant tire in the back

flag so tall

blinged out chain worn as a fashion warrior would

whoa that's a lotta bling on a little pink bike.

dong ding dong

love

dove

dote

tote

tone

tong

song

dong

ding

dine

dime

time

tome

dome

dove

love

Pita Party

Constituent

constitutional

constipation

rah rah rah

once there was peace

now simply pieces

pizza is good

pizza is great,

I mean think of all of the toppings....

different things you can do with the crust

filled, thin, round, square.

piece of pizza

 whole pizza,

 oh wait, pita, that's what I was thinking of

yeah...pita.

eating pie

grand gestures

round houses

feel the love spreading over you

even if it's lust

square pastures

full blouses

what's a guy to do

lost like dust

bang the gong

eat the pie

pet the kitty 

rangoon spicolli

smack smack

lick the bowl

have a lie down

dance jump sing

learn to dance, jump

sing out loud.

just don't do it in an apartment building,

when you live on the second floor.

people get pissed.

eight was ate

Under the napkin, near  my plate

 I left my number

it was ate (eight)

transmission emission

Puppet maker, puppet master

pull the strings to watch it move

desire is a wraith waiting to stall

pompous bands writhe upon the soapy seas

grande entrances blocked with fleas

top the spot 

ease in to the fluid groove

slide down

ride to the luminous holdings whereupon 

sits the cluster of holdings.

bang the trumpet, ring the drum, beat beat beat

smack raster mackel- spoomerd

rattle the cage, or the spoon in my coffee.

don't eat the brussel mouths, fore they hunger as well

drink from my cup, you might get socked. maybe shooed.

Modern warfare, with a side of eggs

Gravel, grovel, dig a ditch

rebel ravel smack a witch

teacup, teabag, in a pot

eat with your fingers on the spot

blech, retch vomit

I have never actually witnessed a comet

what is it that you ask

i can't make it out while you wear the mask

light bulb, light switch it goes on and on

what else will you don

eenie meenie tortillini 

revel in the fish

use the lemon, use the spice

eat you fill, roll the dice

you smell great

you're pretty

like spaghetti

you smell great

just like the food on my plate.

an apple, a grape

you look better than packing tape.

spumoni

baloney

ends in a  A

I need to fill my tray.

Toast

french roast

put it in a cup

it's what fills me up.

your pretty

not gritty

like the grounds I find

mixed in with the rind

Horn Honk Hell

Horns honking

you would think it was

because someone cut you off in traffic,

or you were in a long line of cars that simply refused to even go the speed limit.

but no.

you are too %^%^%^^%@#@ lazy to get out of your

*&%^%$#%$% car and ring a doorbell (too quiet, the person you could have phoned from your car probably would not have heard it ).

I can only hope that for you dear, fellow human...

a special type of noise induced hell awaits you on the other side. 

6:30 is not a good time to honk, not even the quick beep, let alone your obvious desire to star in a one man orchestra.

I hope your hell is dark

I hope that every 20 or so seconds the noise stops and you think it's over.

and it all starts again.

One day I might trail your car, render the horn inooperable.

I hope you are not standing in front of the car when I pull up.

temptation is awful.

horn, honk, hell!

Under the Napkin

Sell buy bye bi?

how's it all work

who has the instructions?

Is it a in a box,

is it at lunch under the napkin?

crap, is the waitress going to throw it away...

maybe I should call and check.

she said she didn't see it.

I bet she's a liar!

she wants the instructions all to herself!

I'm going down there right now and Demand she give them back.

they're mine,she can't be in possesion of what is mine!

I'm leaving now...

where the hell are my keys?

don't hold back

She told me she was a Venusian, I told her I was an Astronaut.
I moved too fast and got a contusion, Saturday we tied the knot

contusion contusion what's that bruisin'

I told her I was a hermit, she said she could be a crab
laughed so hard she had a fit. our life together was not drab.

i was a lone wolf, she offered me a pack, I didn't hold back

Stake and Eggs

Driving through the night, a truck stop slash diner comes into view.
The "Gas 'er Up & Eat Yer Fill" is the name so gloriously bestowed upon the front.

Jake's Steaks semi tractor trailer pulls to a stop. Fill 'er up Fred, says Jake, slapping Fred good-naturedly on the back.

I'm going in for some grub

Hey Suzie Q, what's shakin' 'sides those curvy hips...
Ya' want eggs and bacon or something new?

The usual he says, eyes scanning the small group of folks sitting around the diner.
Jake walks past a couple of ripe truckers to a spot near the back.

They see each other at the same time. Tables smashing against the wall, forks and assorted table ware hitting the floor in a scattered siren of sound.

The Vampire moves- lightning quick, soon blood will be spilled thick and slick.

The Vampire is fast, snarling and gnashing giant fangs, claw like hands extended.

Jake stands his ground- a statue in the midst of screaming frantic eaters.

The beast soars forward, and at the last second Jake stakes the Vampire, who crumbles into dust. His body sprinkling everyone's food.

Suzie..... I'll take those eggs to go.

sleeping is great

sleep

eat 

use the bathroom

sleep

eat

 again with the bathroom

 

just throw the food into the toilet, continue sleeping

ER Dinner Moses

eat the table scraps

eat the table legs, they taste just like chicken

wipe your face, use the napkin,'not your sleeve

jesus, walk down the stairs

 do you just have a need 

 to visit the ER

turn the tv down, and the tablet too

moses had tablets, he used a napkin,

he knew how to use a set of stairs

why can't you be more like moses

what smartmouth

yeah he had parents, what of it

eat your dinner

ow, the pain

shaclap

shut your trap

indulge your buldge

smack the crack daddy

momma won't you help me

the pain is unreal

I feel like the slaughtered 

pig before the squeal

man i love bacon...

Where is this Leading

the question is going down the hall

and to the right

make a sharp left and head straight out of the door. 

step lightly

walk fast

don't attract too much attention

look ahead, face to the sky

make another right

you should be able to see the truckstop ahead

veer to the left

make for the shadows

then around to the front

enter the door, listen to the bell jingle jangle

ask for the rice pudding

it's fantastic

endive as a sport

rooster

in the henhouse

milk and cookies please

riders of the storm

unbuckle with the 

buckling of the norm

egg salad sandwiches

flatbacks and hoes

both cause stitches

don't drink the poison

media consumption rising

bump to the bump

backlash

biologist's broomstick

black leather

tight pants

lipstick

green galoshes washed upon the sticky shores.

mashed potatoes in a sea of dry gravy.

smug rugs, roasting

tender kisses from the brainwashed backwashed 

backhanded fever ridden 

vermin.

silly putty, silly girl

stupid man

togetherness is not unlike a pockmarked half punctured lung, coughed up by the biologist's recent frog.

 

green feather

slight rants

broomstick

 

 

Uh-uh

words

words

words

wards

warts

wants

pants

punts

c........

scotty sub tub

substantial

that is what the rabid weasal

would say

tubular 

as the raccoon spit the fish upon the shore.

monocular

spoke the demonized gluttony 

that formed the gerbil

freckly

became the watch word

of the atomized wasp.

beer me scotty.

Damn Tooth

sweet tooth

hurts when I drink anything cold....

hurts when I drink anything hot......

Damn tooth.

I did everything with you in mind.

You wanted something, you got it.

No questions asked.

Look what you've done to me...

can't chew on the left side side of my mouth.

the pain, it is far from exquisite.

No dentist- I don't have insurance.

even with insurance the dentist is expensive...

No- we started off together you and me.

What am I doing?...

Just slugging back some adult beverages,

and grabbing a pair of pliers

that's all.

Choices in the AM

bagels

doughnuts

muffins

How do one choose the right breakfast?

Sure, you could have a balanced breakfast,

juice, milk, something with wheat and fiber, and a piece of fruit.

I

though

will choose a

candy bar instead!

Night Life

oh man, enjoy the night life.

songs blaring, out of speakers,

So loud the mice seek other homes for 

refuge.

sitting back,

watching the women dance,

mostly with each other.

men either too shy or uncoordinated to

 try.

the smell of lust and love hanging heavy in the air

as the night rolls on.

enjoy the night life....

Just a Thought

I do not own any guns or knives or other weapons.

there really is only one reason that I don't though.

People who come to my block and blast their car horns

 seventy to eighty times ( sometimes to a beat) a second.

(I do not know why I think a person could get out of their car and knock or ring a bell)

 

I would be serving several life sentences due to these 

wonderful people. 

 

Even though the Judge would be understanding 

to the situation, most juries would not find me guilty either, 

the  sheer body count would be too much to overlook.

 

I suppose I could be deputized as a Special Field Agent

( in charge of erradicating dumbassery)

 Just a thought...

Love Hot Dogs

Hot Dogs are gross.

Oh the wonderful post processing gunk that go into them

Yummmmmmm.

That being said, they sell well.

If I eat one, and sometimes there is very little choice,

I put a little something on them to help the taste.

mustard, ketchup, relish, sweet peppers, marshmallows,

Lettuce, canapes, easter eggs, poached eggs (taken illegally)

mayo, salt, potato chips, tortilla chips, add some salsa and a couple of grapes,

and bam! that sucker goes down nice and easy.

Water water inna bottle

I like my coffee the way I like my women 

the cannibal said- Human

Knock knock, who's there

said the bare bear

water outsells soda, by like a billion dollars.

 (it's okay the soda companies are the ones distributing the water, so they do alright)

Who the hell is buying water?

Didn't any of you used to drink that same stuff

out of a faucet- or worse' a garden hose, when you were little?

Oh- yours came from a secret spring in the alps...

and was then triple filtered, then the minerals were replaced after the displacement reversal diffusion process took place.....

Eat your tofu, eat your pink slime, but make god damn sure your water comes in a plastic bottle that has been recycled and will start to poison your system if you continue to drink from it after the original water has been consumed.

Buy a special bottle (probably made in a factory no where near the Alps)

to hold your special water, go on, it makes sense, Do it.

Now don't you feel better? Of course you do.

Where the Sidewalk Went

Where did the Sidewalk go?

People don't use it anymore, at least from what I have seen.

The Sidewalk must be for chumps.

No Cool Kid uses it anymore.

 

Maybe it's invisible to the Pre-adult mind.

'Cause they don't seem to know of it.

 

No, from what I have noticed,

the Street is where it's at.

You know where you stand a better chance of getting

run over by a car.

Young People are just trying to right a wrong,

 they don't do it to look like Morons.

 

Ever since the Man said it was illegal for Motorists to hit pedestrians 

while on the sidewalk. Things have been unfair.

 

Now Motorists have a shot at taking back the Hit and Run,

from the days of Yore.

 

The Youth practically screams HIT ME !! HIT ME!!

I want to preserve my place in History

 

I, for one will start doing my damnest to stop missing 

these (soon to be) Fallen Heroes!

Thank you Non-Sidewalking walkers, take to the streets,

Engines will rev and roar as they take you down.

Amen

Scootch Place Knockers

Blatant, wantoness-essities

Flagrant disregard

splood

Catch the replacement for the guy what came before.

snack placement is pertinent only

if the snack in question is to

be eaten, by the non-eating,

parasitic plaque ridden

bustanopolis.

fred r and fred k

Roast

marshmellows

my 

friends and 

neighbors. 

Fred is gone

no more changing shoes

 no more asking will 

you be mine....

fire has brought another 

fred to the block

one 2 he's coming for 

you

3 four 

better shut the door

WELCOME TO PRIME TIME bitch!

boss cake pan quick fight

forever standing 

upon the chair with which I used to sit

forever planning 

upon the dreams which are now only shit

forever scanning

looking to the ground

I perceive the sky

wanaka glenn friar snuck.

tenten  gosspeck. leak leek

Pie Ala Mode

As I look around at these

the boarded up windows

that now see a vast nothingness;

much like guava pudding after it has set out too long, I see what the windows can't

Messes around the block, in the yards, staunch supporters of non support, 

neglect like the bumblebee too drunk from "pollinating"  ,

carousing in the flower bars.

Who are you, what am I?

these questions are easily answered,

 if not for the unsuckled teat of the morass.

you will know when the time licks at the door to your soup.

fragile beast, hiccupping in the sand. 

broken glass, tortilla in your breadmaker.

stand down.

Possible Titles for the future

Microfibers and Big Screen TV's

( a correlation and comparison on how one is vital to the other.)

Opposable Digits and hot dog days

It was the green what done 'er in

TAXI

Big Moments 

Whack It Til It Goes Away

Cavity has many meanings

Eat This

Social Media Talks Smack

Bleat says the Homogenized Cow Flake

tabletop tennis rookie

grapefruit cereal,

lace curtains and a frock

scaled back 

scarsdale, run in with the law

pillows and pincushions

stags and flags

squeal in delight, squeal in fear

rollercoasters and wet tarmac

missed again

Glutton at the Chicken Buffet

One more eaten egg

one last chewed on leg

juicy thighs at rest

two tender breasts

 

she lost her head

that's what the farmer said

I'm not done

Pass me the next one

Grapefruit for Snack

Oblong Circuitous

free falling tree hugging digitally altering  monoliths.

Grey turpenoid, grand hall grand parent grand fathered in.

ground in beef stains wracking countries edifice fecal ware too long has the brunch come under fire.

BBQ pdq asap, ass quick turn to the right, you missed.

kiss punch abominations in the plural.

backtrack backpack, kinetics when the world whiles away in panic.

print, eat sleep slap the whack cap.

eden sweden here your momma pleadin'

tube skip hope to hop

stand down, stand up

turnip and parsley

hand baskets all around

 

Competitive Vegetables

you can plant corn

you can grow corn

you can sow corn

you can sell corn

you can eat corn

you can sort of digest corn

fuel can be made from corn

you can squeeze the oil from corn

you can walk in a maze of corn

you can pop corn

asparagus

no asparagus can not compete

Post Potatoe Garage

Sporadic

nomadic

people moving , people movers

jobs for the rich, jobs for the poor

 

keepers of the company.

lean towards

lean back

 in their eyes

the skies are gone

gloomy 

roomy

live with her 

live with me

 

sporadic 

systematic

 

problems

 

 

Elephant Sneezes

Softly rolling hills

gently blowing breezes

it all ends poorly 

when the elephant sneezes

Worms like Whales

Drowning Worms.... Walking along looking down

 to keep the rain out of my eyes,

 I saw the horror.

Hundreds of sightless

worms,

drowning.

No vocal chords, their screams never received.

I could hear them though.

No ears to hear my sudden intake of breath

 I tried to save as many as I could, grabbing, tossing , 

looking for dry ground. The damage was already astonishing by then .

If they had only stayed underground, where the water didn't puddle.

What urged them to push to the surface,

only to die like beached whales...

I don't use the sidewalk anymore

Twas but a Worm

Twas but a Worm

 that I saw beneath the tiny waves.

Wrapped around the shining metal.

Gasping, Writhing

Inviting the wrong kind of company.

Need help wriggler? I can take away all of your 

problems.

Yes help help, I was taken from the earth

from where I was born.

Shoved into a container,

driven away from my home.

Pulled from the darkness I did not search out.

 

Pulled and then giant hands ripped my body apart.

Impaled on this hook, sunk under water. 

I need to escape, I don't want to hurt like this.

So please help me, help me

hey-

Yeah man Yeah

the title's the best part....

Going Nowhere Begginnings

around, over

under and through.

my house your house

what's a guy to do?

my alphabet soup is in binary code

011000101010001101011

Upc's are not universal

Eat the pig, milk the cow

swipe the egg, eat the chicken's leg

Bottomless is not always a good thing.

sure, a bottomless cup of coffee is nice.

but if you were bottomless how would you sit?

Probably a bit uncomfortably I would guess.

apples to appetite

baubles and bath bubbles

caps and cops

dates to dares

ears and emphatically earnest elephants

fortuitous forthright ferrets

gone gone gone

One Coffee Cat

One tomatoe

two potatoe

three tomatoe

four

Itsy bitsy spider 

itsy bitsy teeny weeny 

yellow polka dot bikini

green tankini

safari time 

rhyme

coffee time

eat the orange rind time

thyme

rosemary paprika tickle

rika rika 

eat your pumpernickel  

spoiled milk

spoiled brat

give the milk to the cat

what a place 

what a face

inner space, outer space

 give me some space

now the cat is puking

upchuck, sit down chuck

hit the puck chuck

take the cat to the vet

hi have we met 

This is almost done

can you get me a tomatoe table for 

One

 

My Shoes Have No Soul

Thank God, my shoes have no soul.

Otherwise I wouldn't be able to put them on.

Imagine

early morning, my shoes sleeping in the hall where I threw them off.

A slight purring coming from the easy heartbeat 

quietly thumping in their chests.

Here I come, snatching them off the floorboards, 

shoving my feet down their throats.

Holding the tongue with my fingers

 gagging the mouth

as I roughly push my feet in all the way.

Then I stand.

Crushing the last vestige of life from my shoes.

Now I wear them around, parading them,

my poor unsuspecting recently dead shoes.

Mom should've gotten me the ones I asked for. 

I hope her lesson has been learned.

Offbeat Oftbeaten

Not me mind you.

You should mind Me.

never the Devil you don't Know.

Don't know the Devil?

Here within lies the untruth,

Truth be, the lies are within here.

 

Muck muck

spolinder buggrinder hillendale.

 

sparkle, the grime 

left from days of future.

 

What say you lived, devil.

evil rind.

Sporks Along the Way

Sporks may have been an abomination

of our time.

Soon they will be revered.

The unholy union of Fork and Spoon.

But, think for a moment,

if you will

how differently things could have been.

What if, instead... the Spoonbill

and the Sow had come together?

Would that be the outcome 

more to your liking?

 

And Then

The Trees caressed the bare 

rounded underside of the full moon.

The leaves leaving delicate trails upon the scars

 and craters that dotted the skin.

The branches guiding and gliding across the bright 

newness.

Tantric in their timing,

the scene unfolded through the night 

and into the dew laden morn.

A stranger approached as the memory

 evaporated with the days new promise.

the Birds who bore witness were silent. 

The trees had barely the time to notice 

before

the roaring screams burst forth from handheld 

saws.

The Moon was alone when night came again.

FANTA

Pepsi in my veins

Coke'd out of my mind

Even as I did the Dew

My thoughts

were of You.